Expat Parenthood: Giving Birth & Finding Support Far From Home
The transition to parenthood is a momentous period - so much in life is changing all at once. New routines, new family dynamics, and the gradual emergence of a new identity as a mother or father.
When this adjustment to parenthood takes place against the backdrop of life in a new country, it can make for a more challenging journey. When so much is unfamiliar, the added strain of navigating a new country, culture and medical system might feel overwhelming.
At the same time, many expat parents find themselves experiencing a unique, quiet kind of “grief” that is hard to name – wishing they had been able to welcome their new baby surrounded by the familiar warmth of friends and family. The loss of the imagined birth experience can come with a unique sense of regret and longing.
“I just wish my mother/sister/best friend was with me for the delivery.”
This is a common refrain I hear in my work. Clients often express a desire to have had more family and friends with them through their pregnancy and birth. Many feel a sense of loss of not having been able to share the big milestones together – whether that is the birth itself or all of the rituals – formal and informal – leading up to and after the birth. For some this might be a sadness about missing a baby shower with friends, or wishing they could have shopped with their sister for baby essentials, it may be missing having family at a baptism or 100 day celebration or it may be missing the quieter moments of a shared afternoon together.
Acknowledging this as a form of grief, in and of itself, may be the first step in moving forward. Experiencing feelings of sadness around not having the birth or pregnancy that was imagined are common – not only for those living far from home, but many new parents. Letting oneself experience these emotions can be an important part of healing.
“I feel so alone”
Research into the impacts of giving birth while living abroad is limited – but some studies do exist—and they often highlight the same issue: the importance of social support. It is well-established that having a strong network of family and friends can be an incredible resource in early parenthood. At the same time, many parents welcoming a baby while abroad may find themselves with few friends or family members – if any – living near them who they can call on for support.
In a study that looked into the experiences of expat women in the UAE, a common thread was the sense of isolation many of these women experienced in the early postpartum days. One mother stated she felt “cut off” and experienced “a lot of isolation.” Another expat mother described the challenges of her situation in practical terms, “One thing that I felt like I needed and I didn't have was a network of other moms… that I speak to or can troubleshoot or can be like a listening point.” (Hanach et al., 2024)
Limited social support during pregnancy and postpartum may be a significant reason why many expat parents find the transition to parenting so hard. Studies of military families offer some clues: among the families who experience the most frequent changes of station, where ties to friends and family are likely to be most tenuous, postpartum mental health issues occur at a significantly higher rate than the general population (Jones, 2025).
Reaching out to other parents and finding community – whether through neighborhood groups, cultural or religious associations or common interests – can be a lifeline for many parents. Prioritizing time for social connection can be an important part of recovery from both the general stress of new parenthood as well as more significant postpartum mental health challenges.
What Can Help
1) Find Your Village
With so much happening during pregnancy and the early postpartum days, it can be hard to find the time or energy to build new community – especially when the ones who'd usually help you do it, like family, aren't nearby. But community doesn't have to be built all at once, and it rarely starts with something big. Growing connections can be as simple as saying "hi" to another parent at the park or in the waiting room at the doctor's office, joining a group for new parents, or saying yes to an invitation even when you're tired. Over time, these small moments can become the village you didn’t have built-in when you arrived.
2) Acknowledge the Loss
Give yourself permission to grieve the birth and postpartum experience you had imagined – the one surrounded by family, familiar rituals, and the people who know you best. This grief does not mean you regret your life abroad, and it doesn't take away from the joy of your new baby; it simply means something real was lost alongside something real that was gained. Naming that loss, rather than pushing past it, is often the first step toward moving through it.
3) Maintain Connections with Loved Ones Back Home
Staying connected to family and friends – even from a distance – can help soften the isolation of parenting abroad. Regular video calls, sharing photos and milestones in real time, or even keeping a small ritual (a weekly call, a shared photo album) can help loved ones feel present in your new baby's life, even when they can't be there in person. These connections won't replace in-person support, but they can be a meaningful thread back to the people who matter most to you.
4) Reach Out for Support
Building community and staying connected to loved ones can go a long way – but sometimes the challenges of new parenthood, especially far from home, call for more support than friends and family can offer. If feelings of sadness, anxiety, or overwhelm start to feel persistent or unmanageable, reaching out to a therapist or other clinician can make a real difference. Professional support isn't a sign that something has gone wrong; it's simply another resource, alongside community and connection, for navigating this transition well.
If you're reading this because it feels familiar, know that what you’re experiencing is not uncommon – and that you don't have to carry it alone. With time, community, and the right support, it is possible to feel steady again, wherever home happens to be right now.
Citations
Hanach, N., Radwan, H., Bani Issa, W., Saqan, R., & de Vries, N. (2024). The perceived mental health experiences and needs of postpartum mothers living in the United Arab Emirates: A focus group study. Midwifery, 132, 103977. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.midw.2024.103977
Jones, C. (2025). Impact of military-related moves on spousal perinatal depression screening and mental health services [Doctoral dissertation, Walden University]. ScholarWorks. https://scholarworks.waldenu.edu/dissertations/18011
