The “Other” Postpartum Struggle: A Guide to Postpartum Anxiety
Maybe you know the feeling…
You have just had a baby. You have looked forward to this moment for so long and yet the fear of losing something so precious, the worry that you will somehow “do it wrong” and miss something critical, is taking up so much of the space in your mind that it crowds out most everything else.
Like many of your fellow parents, you often find yourself awake in the middle of the night feeding your baby, changing a diaper, or rocking your little one back to sleep. But what you don’t always tell others is that some nights you lose sleep not because of your little one’s cries – but because you find yourself checking on the baby one more time – and then just one more time after that.
The baby might be sleeping soundly for a stretch, but your mind is racing thinking of all that could go wrong, turning details from the day before over and over in your mind: Was his milk intake enough today? Was that the beginnings of a rash I saw when I just changed him? Is he meeting his milestones - shouldn’t he be rolling over by now?
Recognizing Postpartum Anxiety
A degree of anxiety is a common and natural part of becoming a new parent; it's an understandable response to a monumental life change. However, for some moms and dads, this anxiety becomes consuming, turning into a constant barrage of 'what-ifs' that drowns out the joy and excitement they may have anticipated in having a child. Worries grow and compound, negatively impacting not only the parent’s mental health, but also straining their relationships and making it harder to connect with their new baby.
While public awareness of Postpartum Depression (PPD) has grown significantly, Postpartum Anxiety (PPA) remains less often discussed, leaving many parents to navigate these difficult emotions and experiences on their own.
Key Symptoms
Changes in your emotions:
Excessive worry
Feeling more irritable or “on edge”
A pervasive feeling of being on alert or finding it hard to relax
Changes in your thoughts:
Intrusive, distressing thoughts about something happening to baby
Worries about others judging your parenting
Concern about losing your connection to your spouse/partner
Anxiety about new role as parent / impact on identity
Changes in your body:
Shortness of breath
Dizziness
Racing heartbeat
Nausea or loss of appetite
Difficulty sleeping, even when baby sleeps
Changes in how you move through the world:
Avoiding certain places or settings due to worries around safety
Repeatedly “checking” your baby or things related to your baby (e.g., triple checking that the bottle was sterilized or the formula measured properly)
Why is This Happening to Me?
If this sounds familiar, you may be wondering why you are experiencing these feelings. There are two important things to know:
Postpartum Anxiety is very common.
Some estimates suggest it may be even more common than postpartum depression, affecting 20 – 30% of mothers - as well as many fathers.
It’s not your fault.
While the exact causes of PPA are not known, a combination of hormonal changes, sleep difficulties, and stress are believed to play a role. Certain factors may also increase the likelihood of experiencing PPA including:
Being a first-time parent
Having a history of anxiety or family history of anxiety
Experiencing a miscarriage
Having limited support at home; not having “your village”
What now? Finding Support and Treatment
If you suspect that you or your partner may be experiencing postpartum anxiety, know that you do not need to go through this alone and that effective treatments are available.
For many, a good first step is speaking to your OB/GYN, midwife, or GP to discuss what you are experiencing, rule out other health conditions, and explore your treatment options.
Alongside medical support, psychotherapy can be highly effective in reducing the symptoms of PPA. Evidence-based approaches like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) can provide you with practical tools to manage racing thoughts, sleepless nights, and help ground you in the present moment – allowing you to reconnect with what matters most to you.
Postpartum Anxiety is not something you have to face alone. If any of this resonates and you'd like to explore therapy, taking the first step is as simple as reaching out for an initial consultation.
The contents of this article are for informational purposes only and are not a substitute for professional medical or mental health advice, diagnosis, or treatment.
